Losing me

Some of you know that over the last few months that I have been having some health issues.  I seem to be having seizures that mimic strokes.  I lose function of the left side of my body and the ability to speak. I have seen three neurologists and a cardiologists, and numerous other doctors including a psychiatrist.  I even told my primary care doctor just tell me if I am crazy as least that is something.  Right now I have nothing, no real reason for what is happening to me.  I mean I am a nurse so I should be able to understand my own body, but all my test are negative.  I have had four CT scans, a MRI of the brain, two EEGs, and still nothing.  When the episodes happen I can see and feel everything that happens but I can not move my body nor can I speak. I am trapped in my own body and my mind is screaming to help me get out.  I am posting this so that I can help my children understand what I am going through when I have these episodes.  I love them very much.  But I feel like I am losing me.